I'm sorry for not writing to you for the past few months, I wasn't very busy. Well I did jump from one city to another but that's because I wanted to look busy. I wanted to have something that makes me busy but I wasn't. I kept saying to everyone that I became idle for over a year when I know that I have been idle only for the past couple of months. I used to think that it's funny to joke about that when it's not. It somehow affects my unconciousness. I'm not feeling really good here Charlie no, not literally, but as feeling goes I'm not well. I've been questioning myself for the past few hours whether I'm doing the right thing right now. I have made a very little progress while everyone made big. What makes me more upset is the fact that I've come to a point where I asked myself about the decision I've made which is to is miserable. I want to look strong so everybody around me thinks that I'm fine but I can't and I made them worried which is upsetting for me.
Sorry for writing a short and depressing letter. I hope you're doing well.